For so many years all she could see in me was the love of her life,
and all I could see was that little girl I first saw walking down the street.
I could hold her in my arms as she sobbed and cried the night away.
She told me all her fears as tears rolled down her face.
But alas she was so innocent and cute,
Not the kind of innocence a man would like to steal.
It was the kind you would like to protect.
The kind , kind of innocence.
Not the naughty kind that you would lust after,
But the kind you would like to protect.
Not protect for you, but for her.
Oh that girl loved me soo, but to me she was no more than a child,
Was it her cute face that did it?
Or her enchanting smile?
I may never know why I cherished and loved her so.
Not the love a guy felt for a girl but the love a brother felt for a sister.
Soon this young girl blossomed into a flower,
A flower all my friends wanted to pluck,
But alas all I saw was her innocent and beautiful soul.
A soul I was not ready to darken with my indiscretion.
A soul everyone else wanted to destroy for the sheer fun of it.
Soon I became the laughing stalk amongst my friends,
How frail and weak I was,
How feminine I always will be, and how much I would never amount to nothing.
Often I asked myself, is it wrong for a man to love a girl without intimacy,
Is it wrong for a man to be pure of heart,
Is it wrong for a man to love, truly love?
Am I a fool to desire a woman who satisfies every aching moment of my life,
rather than a woman who satisfies me for just a night?
Sadly I loved her, just as I love my sister,
My cute little baby girl.
But as destiny would have it she was about to leave the country.
As she lay in my bed, she said, “I want you to ravage me.”.
I laughed harder than I ever have, “Ravage you?”, I asked, “which movie did you get that from?”
I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was hurt, not hurt because I laughed, but hurt because she could tell I did not want her.
Our last night was all about me convincing her how I cared and loved her but I could not be with her.
As she cried, stormed out my door, the last thing she said to me before storming was, “One day you will know you always wanted me, and you are just not man enough to be with me. One day you will know I’m better than all the girls you keep chasing,who keep hurting you. One day you will love me like you’ve never loved and on that day you will never find me, nor have me. That day you will weep knowing you lost me this night knowing my innocence as you put it was stolen by an Ass!”
Till this day these words haunt me.
Till this day I’ve not seen nor heard from her….